The Robert Blog

Very Punny!

Robert — Thu, 20 May 2010 11:00:00 GMT

I enjoy a good pun. I enjoy a bad pun even more! Here is a pun for you. You decide if it's good or bad.

_______________________________________________________________________________

A tribesman consulted his medicine man about a pain in his stomach that had persisted for three months.

"For something as long as that." said the medicine man, "I have a more drastic remedy than the herbs I normally prescribe. Chew on this leather thong every day. It's 28 inches long: chew one inch every day, and come back at the next full moon.."

The patient dutifully did as directed, and at the next moon he returned to the medicine man.

"How do you feel?" the medicine man asked.

"The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."

The Tie Makes The Man

Robert — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 10:00:00 GMT

A few days ago, I was standing in the heart of Times Square in NYC. When I say the heart of Times Square, I mean it: the corner of Broadway and West 43rd Street. I was very early for a lunch time business meeting. I was dressed professionally in my black suit with my red Donald Trump tie. I would describe my appearance as "looking like a VIP".

A man walks up to me, he was dressed as business like as I was.

"Excuse me," he starts, "are you working right now?"

Not really understanding his tone, I said "Do you mean right this minute?"

"No. I mean are you employed right now? Because I'm not. I've been out of work about nine months. Things are getting tough and as you can imagine I'm trying to find work where I can. Do you mind if I give you my resume? I would appreciate any help you could give me"

He handed it to me without waiting for my response. I mumbled something, but I don't remember what.

"Thanks much", he just kind of laid out there, then went on his way down Broadway. He walked in some sort of gait between desperate, lost, and drunk. Although I'm pretty sure he had not been drinking that morning.

I took a quick glance at the resume, the stuffed it in my bag. His name was Tony, and from his job history (sales, sales, and more sales) it wasn't hard to figure out why he has having a difficult job search.

At this point most people standing where I was would have thought something like "there, but for the grace of some all knowing deity, go I."

Not me.

Not that I didn't feel bad for the guy, nor do I wish worse on him. But I did feel that I would never be that guy. Could I be out of work one day? Sure, any one of us could. In fact some of you reading this are unemployed. However I don't expect that I would be wandering the streets of NYC looking for strangers to hand my resume to. I believe my network, my skills, and my education will prevail. I know that may come across as arrogant, but I just believe it is confidence. Which, by the way, is an attractive trait when dating and when job searching. Along with a Donald Trump tie.

Besides, I would rather go into the human resource office with an appointment and hand my resume to a total stranger.

The Raber Family Euphemism, a.k.a. pass the grated parmesan

Robert — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 11:00:00 GMT

Every family has some sort of term of endearment: sweetie, sugar-pie, honey bunch, darling, dear, lovey-dovey, tootsie. In my house our term is: the pasta special.

Yes I will explain.

Many years ago, when I was dating my future wife, her family hosted me for dinner at a restaurant called Don Pepe in Newark, NJ. It's an excellent Portuguese place, and where my wife and I eventually had our wedding reception (that alone is about 20 different stories). On this particular day, my wife's grandparents joined us. Her grandfather at the time was well over ninety years old. For dinner he ordered the pasta special. It's always the same special at this restaurant, it's penne in a red cream sauce and features shrimp and scallops. I find it excellent, but on this day, Grandpa found it a little al dente. Actually, he found it a lot al dente. So much so that he wanted to return it. Grandma, trying to be non-confrontational told Grandpa she would trade dishes with him. He insisted that the dish be returned as it was not cooked right. He was so adamant about this he announced to the table that when the waiter came back to take the dish he would "stick it up his a**".

After you have been married to someone for a while, and have children, and prefer not to use vulgar words in front of them, you find phrases to help censor yourself. My wife and I adapted "pasta special" from Grandpa's usage that day and use it to fit a wide variety of needs.

"What should I do with this? You should pasta special it!"
"Who the pasta special left this out!"
"Don't make me come in there and pasta special you!"

Over time we adapted a little to much.
"Do I look like a pasta special you?"
"Why am I always the one doing the pasta special?"
"This spaghetti recipe is not working, it's just a big pile of pasta special!"

It's like my parents always said: "Don't go putting socks on horses if you don't know how to knit wool hats!" (If you know what I mean!)

Perspective From A Father Of Three Premature Children

Robert — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 08:00:00 GMT

Today is my youngest son's fourth birthday. We will be celebrating with a party at a local indoor kids recreation center, complete with jungle gym, movie room, pizza, cake, and a "grab-nabber" game.

I've posted on the blog previously about my family's involvement in the March of Dimes and their fundraising. Each time we celebrate a child's birthday in our house, my wife and I are reminded of our three wonderful opportunities to be parents. It's something we lose sight of way to often, namely the other 362 days of the year. It real easy, after the years, to forget that advances in medicine, and the hard work of a few doctors, made all of the annoying days possible. Some readers know exactly what I'm talking about, having been through the exact same experiences as we have. I'm asking you to be just a little more patient and understanding with your kids today. Some parents never got to take their baby home from the hospital. We did. We show our gratitude by doing our best to ensure greater opportunities for future parents of pre-mature babies.

I'll spend the day reminding myself that the number of pieces of cake my son has for his birthday is beyond insignificant. Tomorrow, I'll go back to being the strict dad.

Business travel always sounds glamorous until you have to do it.

Robert — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 12:00:00 GMT

My past traveling for business can be summed up in two words: sporadic and overnight. I would travel maybe twice a year, most times as long as a week. Beginning this year, I will be travelling for work at a slightly higher frequency and will be making more single day trips.

Recently I made my first foray into the world of "round trip in a day travel". I have just a few observations on this.

I believe I lost six months off my lifespan from this ridiculous travel itinerary. I didn't travel that far: Newark, NJ to Raleigh, NC; Raleigh to Charlotte, NC; Charlotte back to Newark. I wasn't awake all that long that day either, from 5AM to 11:30 PM. It was like each thing I did just increased the drain of everything I had already done by an exponential power of ten. I ran out of reading material and grabbed stuff off the chairs in the concourse (you will not find me recommending New York Magazine, ever). I ate Popeye's Chicken at the terminal. I consumed lots of caffeine in very small cups.

By some odd scheduling quirk, my connecting flight through Charlotte was the same plane I was on both coming from Raleigh and going to Newark. I wasn't as freaky as the other people on the plane about making airline connections as I knew myself and this plane were going the same place. However waiting on a tarmac in Charlotte for 30 minutes to take off for a 20 minute flight makes the "cargo" a little restless. I do think it's odd to get off a plane just to get back on a plane. Key technical issue I learned - when an airplane pilot turns off one engine to save fuel while waiting, the reading lamps and air conditioning on that side of the plane don't function (at least that's according to the US Air personnel on the plane I was on).

I also came to a stunning conclusion about airports - lots of them look alike. I haven't been in that many airports, but Raleigh and Charlotte could have passed for the same place, and both resembled Pittsburgh, which was very similar to Phoenix. My thought on telling any airport apart from another is the food and shopping selection. Charlotte had a NASCAR Shop and a Bojangles restaurant, while Pittsburgh had a Quaker Steak and Lube restaurant.

Not that previous week long business trips I had taken weren't much better. Here are some of the highlights.

Sunday - Extended travel via a late night flight to some remote location complicated by an understaffed rental car desk and a hotel not having a reservation for your room.
Monday - Early wake-up so that you don't miss "Invitation Only Kick-off Breakfast with Regional Vice-President", getting-to-know-you activities with the same 20 people you've been with before, Monday night dinner with the meeting facilitator.
Tuesday - Wake-up with three pain-relief pill headache caused by excessive beverage consumption with the meeting coordinator.
Wednesday - The traditional "I know it's 5:30 and you are all tired but we really need to complete this subject today so we'll stay here until we wrap it up, beside you are only going upstairs/around the block/on the shuttle" announcement.
Thursday - Over breakfast, wondering if you will ever see your family again. Over last-night-at-the-meeting dinner, celebrating the announcement that causal dress is in effect for getaway day.
Friday - Agreeing with other participants not to ask any questions so that the meeting doesn't last one second longer than it has too.

I know this discussion can only go so far. I chose my career and the travel arrangements that come with it. Compared to the guys on Deadliest Catch, my job hazards are pretty insignificant. Would I trade this for flipping burgers? Not a chance. The days I find myself taking solace in the opportunity to fold down the tray, lean the seat back, be served a fresh beverage and enjoy the in-flight entertainment in peace and quiet far outnumber the others. It's at that point that business travel is a small, but valuable, perk.

A link to a stroy about innovation

Robert — Wed, 27 May 2009 01:31:13 GMT

Â

I read a really great
article today.Â

Â

"Recalling the Apgar Score's Namesake"

Â

It's on WSJ.com.Â

Â

You could also send
your search engine looking for results for "Virginia Apgar" and
gather up a few more pieces on her life, her medical career, and a stamp.

Â

I found the article
great for many reasons. It framed the sexism that existed once in the medical
community here in the United
States. It reflected how the medical
community, at one time, had a few priorities out of line. Most of all it showed
howÂ innovation, the kind that can save lives, can happen in the
smallest time frame.Â

Â

People tend to think
the greatest ideas came from scientists or other researchers putting in long
frustrating hours in dark cramped development centers. Or maybe they come from
a garage or built in the basement by some tinkerer who has devoted years to
building a better toilet paper dispenser. Some world changing ideas do come
from these places. Others, just sort of show up in a second of opportunity.
Those are the stories I appreciate.Â

Happy Memorial Day to you!

Robert — Fri, 22 May 2009 11:01:27 GMT

I don’t work the Friday of Memorial Day = weekend. Let me tell you why.

Back in 2000, I was working on Long Island, living in Queens, and dating a girl from New = Jersey, who, of course, liked to spend the Memorial Day weekend with her friends = on the Jersey = Shore. SO of course, being the = great boyfriend that I was, I committed to getting to her house on Friday night to go to = the shore.

First, it took two hours for me to get home from = work, thanks to a trucking expert who was able to jack-knife a tractor trailer = truck right in the middle of the Long Island Expressway. My usually trip home = was about 30 minutes.

Second, the normal one hour trip to New Jersey became a three hour = stand still. At the time I had no cell phone, so it was a most unproductive three hours. = This was also before GPS systems were popular, so at least I didn’t = have to

After arriving in New = Jersey, I became the passenger for a two hour ride to the Jersey Shore. At least I wasn’t diving for that part and I wasn’t = alone.

Total car time – seven hours. = Yuck.

Since that year, I’ve taken the Friday of = Memorial Day weekend off from work. I live in New = Jersey, and I make the trip to the Jersey Shore long = before the rest of the world. Total trip time 2009 – one hour. Yes, = it’s with the same girl. Things change, but they stay the same. =

Enjoy, and stay safe this weekend. =

I'm Â keeping the corporate jet, because I can!

Robert — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 13:00:00 GMT

I consider myself a free marketÂ believer. CommerceÂ shouldÂ be conducted with minimal regulation fromÂ government. Give meÂ enoughÂ regulation to provide a level and legal playing field. Extortion and price-fixing is out, Â safetyÂ of all workers is in. Give me credit for innovating and a punish me for discriminating. Beyond that I want government regulation out of my way. Don't cap my profit margins,Â dictate my salaries, limit where I can sell my product,Â take my employees for recognition, orÂ challenge my mode of transportation.

What is being witnessed in the present market conditions, in my opinion, could be considered steps toward socialism. How the business environment got here is a combination of more factors than we would want toÂ believe. Take the situation withÂ mortgagesÂ on private residences.Â I will not call it a housing crisis because we are not short of houses forÂ people to live in. I will also not call it aÂ mortgageÂ crisis because aÂ fairÂ amount of people don't have problems with their present mortgage or getting a new mortgage. MyÂ unofficialÂ survey of everyone I asked (I'll admit the sample set is not largeÂ enoughÂ and the selfÂ validatedÂ responses cannot be confirmed) shows that no one has a crisis in their mortgage. What does exist is a confluence of good ideas and bad execution.Â For a timely and wide reaching re-cap of all of these factors check out this itemÂ from Time Magazine "Blameworthy - 25 People to Blame for the Financial Crisis" and this series from The New York Times "The Reckoning".
Â
Â
Keep in mind that socialism is, technically speaking,Â the step in between capitalism and communism.Â Will there be a fullÂ blow revolution in the United States leadingÂ to the fall of our government and a classless society? I don't believe it possible,Â but one guy predicts disaster of the U.S. in 2010Â Â (surprise, he may know the U.S. better that we know ourselves). In the meantime, we can readÂ editorialsÂ lamenting the social costs of bailoutsÂ .

Taking advantage of the Political Climate

Robert — Fri, 13 Feb 2009 02:50:59 GMT

Oh those tricky, tricky, Republicans! I find this = very funny. I don’t mean to offend (or support) either party. I just = think it’s good marketing given the present political climate. =

GOP = Valentines.

I LEGO N. Y.

Robert — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 02:51:50 GMT

Oh the genius of an artist. Boys will love this, but = girls, not so much.

I = Lego New York

A few website recommendations for you

Robert — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 04:17:55 GMT

Just wanted to bring everyone a couple of items I’ve read recently = that I found really interested and wanted to share.

=

Thanks goodness we have a Wii in our house - Playing Video Games Good For = You?

=

I like this idea - <= font color="#3366ff" face=Garamond>President-elect Obama = names Nancy Killefer as Chief Performance = Officer

=

At one time using a mouse was pure science fiction. Check out the video = link - The Greatest Product = Demo Ever and What to Learn From It

=

CNBC makes those late night hours watching TV valuable - CNBC.com's "As Seen On TV" = Bracket

=

Escape from the news and check on the news – Happynews.com

=

Regardless of your political affiliation check out these two sites - The White House and C-Span. Both bring an amazing amount of factual information.

I'll be back real = soon.

The countdown to Big 2

Robert — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 02:43:17 GMT

For about three weeks now I’ve been rolling = over in my head what I wanted to place on the blog about the financial assistance = that the Big 3 auto makers are looking for. I had to address how I feel about = this, and complete some research that would go into supporting my = opinion.

On the first item, here is the shortest version of my opinion. I’m offended and insulted buy this situation. =

I’m offended because as a taxpaying US citizen, I have to ask = “When will companies stop getting on line for their handout?” I’m = a believer in the free market ideas, and when that means you have made bad = decisions, you have to pay the price for them. If the price is standing up in front of = your employees and saying “We made mistakes, they weren’t on = purpose, and we are really sorry, but as of Monday we are out of business”, = take it like a grown adult. Stop the stream of companies running to the = government for their infusion of cash because they are too big to fail. It’s = not about size, it’s about politics.

I recently completed my second college degree; an MBA = with significant emphasis on business and global strategy. I’m insulted by the = automakers because I know they have a lot of MBA’s at the top of their = companies and they all are making the mistakes that MBA programs teach you address: = innovation, leadership, strategy, brand management, and business communications. = Right now these guys couldn’t get credit for like experiences or test out of = a pre-requisite class. Bob Nardelli got tossed out of Home Depot and Alan Mullaly = didn’t leave Boeing in the best of shapes. These two al least got the negotiations = part right. Remember, Nardelli left HD with a huge package and Mullaly can = afford the $1 salary with that signing bonus he got for joining Ford. Rick = Wagoner just appalls me. He has an MBA from Harvard Business School. The HBS model for MBA studies is the cornerstone for MBA level = instruction, including almost all the work I did for my MBA. I know the level of = critical analysis that is expected. Rick and whoever reports to him have not been operating at that level. Maybe Rick should have kept up on his = subscription to the Harvard Business Review. For $109 a year, GM’s collapse = could have been avoided.

As for the second item on my list, my heart felt = thanks goes out to John Helyar and Doron Levin at Bloomberg.com. Although not = specifically for me, they did a lot of research into this situation and came out with = this (Already Bankrupt GM Won’t be Rescued by U.S. Loan) excellent piece. = Somebody has to do the hard work. I sure don’t have the time. =

Seasons of Love

Robert — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 03:55:53 GMT

Thanksgiving for 2008 has come and gone. Although I have
plenty to be thankful for this year having the super large lottery jackpot
winning ticket would have been nice. Finishing a graduate degree, changing
occupations, and taking on this blog just werenâ€™t satisfying enough..

Â

Itâ€™s all part of human nature, to want what you havenâ€™t got,
to covet thy neighborâ€™s cattle, to be in the other half of the world, to have
the greener grass. Recently (and again) I was subject to family members (the
people you canâ€™t really choose to avoid) complaining about not being born into
rich families on wishing their last names were â€œTrumpâ€ or â€œEntenmannâ€™sâ€,
although I havenâ€™t heard anyone wish they were a â€œFordâ€ lately. Although there
are a few rich families that arenâ€™t struggling now (the Johnsons come to mind,
all those adhesive bandages made somebody very rich), somebody had to start the
family empire. Why put energy into complaining who you arenâ€™t? Use that time
and creativity to make yourself someone!

Â

How
do you measure a year? Give yourself the task of improving your position in
one year. You have between today and this day next year to make yourself and
your world better. I measured the year between Thanksgivings in web hits. Was
it worth the effort? Every second How far have I come? Further than I would
have come if all I did was complain about it. The journey of 1000 miles begins
with buying a ticket for the bus ride.

Â

Happy belated Thanksgiving!Â

You don't know what you think you know.

Robert — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 02:21:17 GMT

Really, you have no idea until you take a test that = you don’t know the things you need to know. Head on over to Intercollegiate = Studies Institute American Civic Literacy Program Website http://americancivic= literacy.org/index.html and take the 33 question test to find out how uninformed you are. = All those things you were supposed to pay attention to up to the end of high = school, they are coming back to haunt all of us now.

A pair of websites for you

Robert — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 02:12:01 GMT

Here are a pair of websites that bring a little fun to the economy.

Wallstrip -  Where pop culture meets stock culture. It's a straight forward review of stocks that's the perfect length for the modern attention span.

Minyanville   - Animated stock market analysis, it's like CNBC meets Pixar, only funny and informative.

Keep Your Head in The Political Game

Robert — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 04:00:08 GMT

You may think this is a partisan website, but it is = actually a great site for tons of information on the U.S. Government. Sign up for = the weekly updates and stay informed. It will make you a better citizen. You = may have just jumped on the bandwagon, but you will to do some work to stay = there.

The White = House - http://www.whitehouse.gov/ =

I kid you not, this is a real show !

Robert — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 00:14:48 GMT

I’m sharing with all of you something I found a while = searching through Comcast On Demand. I thought I was finding a cooking show, but = what I really found was a “too hot for the Food Network” show. Oddly = enough you can’t watch the episodes on the website, only on digital cable. =

http://www.bikinibbqs.com/

youtube.com - http://www.youtube.= com/watch?v=Nf1FxHYO5x0

A Little Something About The Price of Crude Oil.

Robert — Wed, 28 May 2008 00:58:37 GMT

I was going to do a lot of writing about gas prices. Instead = I’m going to do a little writing and provide you with a few good links to = follow up with.

The United States is not the center of the crude oil universe. As soon as we understand = that, the better position we will be to manage our consumption and use of = petroleum products. This is turn will lead to stability in the price of a gallon = of gas. The relative supply and demand for a product will determine its price in = the market. We are not in control of the global supply or the global = demand of a global commodity (crude oil). It’s going to be a real = challenge for the US consumer, but we are a tough bunch and we will get through it. =

CNN Topic Gas Prices - http://topics.cnn.com/to= pics/gas_prices

Petroleum Industry - http://en.wikipe= dia.org/wiki/Petroleum_industry , http://en.wikipedia.org/w= iki/Petroleum

Speculators affecting the price of oil - http://ww= w.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/5800462.html

Oil Executives Testifying to Congress - http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/23/business/worldbusiness/23oil.html#<= /a>

Congress Votes to Stop Stockpiling Oil - http://www= ..nytimes.com/2008/05/14/business/14oil.html

What Does Gas Cost in Other Countries? - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/i= d/12452503/

Oil Price History and Analysis - http://www.wtrg.com/prices.htm

I'm calling out the professional stock brokers ....

Robert — Wed, 14 May 2008 02:50:00 GMT

Here is my great revelation on the stock market. Nobody has any real clue what’s going on.

During my time working on my MBA, I realized a great expansion of my understanding of financial markets. I started actively watching the stock market. I expanded my financial education so that my own investments in the markets would have positive returns. I started investing this year with my own brokerage account.

My revelation is not shocking to the people similar to me: small individual investors. The professional investors will tell you otherwise, but I know better. Here are my reasons why I believe I’m right and most of the paid professionals are wrong.

 Analysts are not interested in the same metrics as executives. I believe analysts are interested in one main metric: net income. However a company makes that bigger, so be it. Reduce expenses, grow sales, and increase prices.
 Expectations are the measuring stick. Watch what happens to a stock price when a company releases record earnings, but didn’t meet “the survey of the industry analysts.” You try hitting a moving target.
 Investors want good news. Keep an eye on the Dow Jones Industrial Averageon days when there is what investors would call good news. An example would be positive earnings report from a major company. A vast majority of these days the DJIA goes up.
 Stock brokers make their money when you buy. Seen anyone issue sell recommendation lately? Seen anyone issue a second sell recommendation? Every year there is at least one article about how lopsided the buy recommendations are to the sell recommendations.

What did I do? I grew my financial knowledge and developed my own style of investing. My theories are borrowed (if I like the person) or stolen (if I don’t like the person). I took inspiration from various other investors. I recognized my own risk/rewardlevel.

So far I’m a genius. My portfolio is up 13% in four months. Of course there is winner and a loser in the pile. I’m okay with that. It’s my call to buy, sell, and hold. I don’t have the boss standing behind be saying “The minute I laid eyes on you, I knew you were no good.”

Hopefully I’ll score big on my speculative play. Then I can update the blog every day!

I have a story for everything, the first one in free.

Robert — Tue, 06 May 2008 02:15:00 GMT

I have been told the following three things:

Recently by a manager at work: “You do an excellent job effectively using stories and analogies to emphasize a point.”

Previously by friends: “Dude, you have a story for everything!”

In my past by my mother: “Would you get to the point already?”

So, I’m reading a small blurb in the Travel section of the Star-Ledgerthis week. Yankee Magazine’s2008 Special Travel Guide has come out with its list of the top five New England Diners. Among the eateries is the Modern Diner, East Ave, Pawtucket RI.

Here is my story.

NFL history shows the game between the New York Jets and the New England Patriots of November 28, 1993 as a final score of Jets – 6, Patriots – 3. It also shows the weather as a rainy, windy, 63 degree day. Let me tell you the parts I remember. Fourteen years will erase only so much.

The big weekend in Boston turning into leaving the night before because somehow no one on this trip was actually able to leave when we said we could.

It was raining the night we left

Leaving late because I went to “Joe’s house” instead of “Joe’s house”.

Sitting in the back seat of a 1993 Ford Thunderbird with two other guys, my head on the speaker, and very loud Metallica on the radio.

A fried shrimp platter at the Howard Johnson in Mystic CT (it’s raining while we are having dinner)

Checking into a Days Inn in Pawtucket RI, where the key didn’t open the door to the room and the security guard had to let us in whenever we left the room.

A lot of keys on the security guard’s key ring.

The bars in Rhode Island closing before we checked into the room.

Playing touch football in the hotel parking lot the next morning (still raining).

Going for breakfast at the Modern Dinner. The greatest breakfast I ever had in my life.

Arriving in the parking lot at Foxboro Stadium (still raining).

The kickoff, when the rain suddenly morphed into freezing monsoon.

Two field goals.

My big winter coat I wore in preparation of the 30 degree snow storm that should have arrived in New England that day

My water logged “Michelin Man” winter coat when the game was over.

The waterfalls on the stairs and lakes in the concourses in the stadium

Going back to the car when the 3rd quarter was over.

“Don’t get the inside of the car wet!”

The rain stopping as soon as we pulled out of the parking lot.

Making the trip home from the game in about two hours because the driver had a date that Sunday night.

You might think I didn’t like that trip. It’s more memorable to me than other trips and is discussed quite frequently among the attendees. Every time I’m out in a storm I’ll say “I haven’t seen a storm like this since my trek into hostile Patriots territory in 1993”.

Here is my free piece of philosophy from this story: if you can take one lesson out of an adventure, it was an adventure worth having.

The next piece of philosophy will cost you fifty cents. I’ve got hosting charges to pay.